He Works All Things to Our Good!

Romans 8:28
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

So here I am, I have been saved through my declaration of faith in Jesus Christ (Rom 10:9); I have been justified by the blood of Christ (Rom 5:9); and therefore I have been chosen by God and called out of darkness(1 Peter 2:9). Because of this, when I read Romans 8:28 I think, "Ok, life is hard and it even kinda sucks right now, but God has good for me somewhere in the midst of all this." When my wife was sick and no one could tell us what was wrong with her, God had good in this for me. When my wife walked out on me, God still has good in this for me. When I got diagnosed with cancer, God...He has good in this for me. When I am left in financial ruin from hundreds of thousands of dollars in medical bills, God...He has to have something good in this for me. When I am left isolated and cut off from the world trapped in a hospital room, God...He does have something good in this for me...right? When my dream of having kids is stripped from me through radiation and chemo...God where is there anything good in this?" It was all so easy at first to believe, but as thing got worse it all made less and less sense this...this "good" that God is supposedly working for me.

I have spent the last few weeks hurting and discouraged, wrestling with the purpose and the meaning of everything that has happened over the past few years. Constantly asking God why? I have become so sick of hearing, "God works all things to the good of those who love him." What does that even mean? What are you saying because my life goes from bad to worse I don't love God? Of course I do, that is why I am here! That is why I keep fighting, because of the hope that there might be good at the end of all this. But it all seems to have gotten so frustrating and so confusing. Nothing seems to make sense any more. I break down and cry most every night just wanting something to change. Just wanting to know that God hasn't forsaken me in all this.

In my life, I have found that most of the time, I am my own biggest obstacle in getting to the truth. See I keep waiting for God to do something good for me; it is like I am looking for some reward for having endured through these past few years. And then like a mack truck it hits me. I have been defining "good" by my terms and not by God's. So how does God define "good"? I began reading the New Testament to see what Jesus constantly describe as being good. I looked through the Gospels and I was amazed at how many times Jesus talks about how "good" trees bear "good" fruit. If good is bearing fruit, then would not part of what God is "working for my good" be that I bear fruit. But how can I bear good fruit with a testimony of such pain and hardship? What do I say, "Hey you should become a christian so the world can take a giant crap on you!"

I mean if we are going to be realistic, my life isn't a good selling point for the christian life. Sure look at Joseph and everything he went through: he was abused by his brothers, sold into slavery, falsely charged with rape, and forgotten for years in the prison system but in the end, he became 2nd in command over the entire Egyptian Empire. Or Job, a man God had blessed with a large family and much wealth, he watched as his family, friends and servants die all around him, he lost everthing, he was physically afflicted with sickness but in the end, the Lord blesses the latter half of Job's life even more that before. There hardships lead to a blessed life, while mine has me in the hospital yet again, watching as my life continuing to spiral downwards. In truth, I guess what I have been waiting for is that turning point where things finally go from radically bad to radically good.

And there it is. I said I was often my own obstacle to getting to the the truth. Well the truth is that I have been looking so hard for something good to happen to me, that I missed all the good happening around me. I missed my C24 students using my story to witness and comfort their friends; I missed them growing as they dug in to pray for my recovery and healing. I missed people that I haven't even met finding joy and hope in my story. I missed a 12 year old boy who ask his mother what fasting was and after she told him that it is a practice often done to ask God to meet a specific need, that young man spent then next week fasting lunch for me. You see I got so wrapped up in my self and in "my good" that I forgot it that it was never about me. Joseph got it and after everything he went through, when he met his brothers who had so brutally betrayed him for the first time in years, the brothers thought it was the end, that he would exact his revenge on them. But Joseph upon seeing them says, “Don’t be afraid...You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. (Gen 50:20)

Without any help from me, my testimony has been producing "good" fruit and now I see that what the world and sin intended to harm me, that God has been working it all to good. In the mist of my affliction and despair, I remember Gods love and compassion for me and therefore I have hope (Lam 3:21-22). God has not ended my life, but has carried me through troubled waters and the good is not fame, fortune or power, but a testimony of His love, a testimony of faith, a testimony of hope, a testimony of endurance. Maybe tomorrow will be better, maybe tomorrow will be worse; either way, I know that tomorrow will bring new opportunities to tell of how I did not die, but I lived and because of that I will proclaim all that the Lord has done and is doing in me. For truly in the darkest of times, God is working all things to my good!

God, I think it is time for me to be the pilot.

All of my life, I have heard that stupid saying, "Make God your pilot, not your co-pilot." Sadly I believed it for quite sometime too. A few days ago though, my world was rocked by a surprisingly simple and yet scary revelation. I was listening to a young man preach and he told a parable that I am going to do my best to remember and share with you.

Imagine you are going a trip to some place that you have never been before. You are completely turned around and lost in the middle of nowhere. Then you see an old man running a little roadside stand. You pull over and ask him how to find your destination. The old man proceeds to tell you to continue down the road a ways until you see a big oak tree. Take a left there and go down the road a couple of miles until you see an old stump with a bunch of bushes growing around it and take a left. This man might as well be speaking Swahili because you don’t understand his directions at all. See, he is a local, so to him this all makes sense, but you don't even know the difference between an oak tree and redwood. But now let’s say that the old man gets in the passenger seat and guides you right there. You know that he knows what he is talking about, and he is going to get you to where you need to be. The young pastor then tells the group of students, who are debating over some pretty big life decisions, that they need to let God get into the passenger seat and guide them to where they need to be.

My first thought is of course, "Is he seriously advocating God being their co-pilot?" And then the flood gates opened and I was washed away by what God had been waiting to poor into me. We have a generation that has been told so often to "let God have control" or "let God be your pilot" or even better "just wait for the Lord to move you." Now looking back, I see the consequence of such advice. It all sounds good and right on the surface, after all Jesus told his disciples to follow him, and you can't follow if you are trying to lead...right? But there is a problem that this line of thinking creates. Now there is a generation of people who are so scared to mess up that they have forgotten how to make a decision for themselves.

Nowhere in scripture has God commanded me to be his puppet, in fact it is the exact opposite. God has given me the freedom to make my own choices and sometimes my own mistakes. Because just as Jesus called his disciples, he sent them out in Luke 10. Jesus didn't tell them where to go, he just said go. What I love here is that Jesus tells them that if they enter a house and they don't have peace, leave; Jesus then says if they enter a town and they reject them, leave! We have to have faith that God is in control. We must have faith that if we step out seeking his will, we will find it. God has a will for your life without question and God undoubtedly wants you to reach your full potential, but that is just it...He wants you to do it. The moment I questioned what this pastor was preaching, God began to speak. "Do you really think I created you just so I could live your life for you? Do you think I watched my son be scorned and beaten and crucified just so I could make you my puppet? I don't desire to live for you, I desire for you to live for me!"

I can wait all day long for God to move me, but God has already spoken over my life through His Holy Word and in my very spirit. I am not perfect and of course I make mistakes, but my heart beats for my God alone and because of that he makes known my every mistake. God will not keep silent and watch his children fail! All throughout scripture we see God disciplining His children, and we are told to not despise the Lord's discipline because he loves us (Proverbs 3:11). Guys, God will let you know when you are taking a bad step; you will feel it in your spirit and see the effects of it in your life. There are just two questions to ask yourself: Do you know His voice well enough to hear Him and Do you walk in His presence enough to know when you are out of his will?

With all that said, there have been times when God has told me to wait upon Him. But there is a difference in waiting and walking. Has God asked you to wait or are you simply scared of taking the next step? There are so many decisions that I wish God would make for me, but sometimes he wants me to make them because in them I can see where I am or where I am not.