She Has A Beautiful Smile And I Cannot Worship

 

"The light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed."

John 3:19-20

      I met this girl, not just any girl mind you, the worst kind of girl! The kind of girl with voice that mesmerizes you, eyes that see right through you, and a smile, oh my goodness, a smile that makes you forget how to breathe. She is independent and fierce and loves God. She sounds pretty amazing right? Well she is and that is what makes her the worst kind of girl to be around, because being around her makes you see the worst things about yourself. Realizing this made me realize why it is so hard for me to enter in to worship sometimes.

"The light has come into the world..."

     The Bible says that a light has come into the world. "In the beginning was the Word... He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him... In him was life, and the life was the light of men" (John 1:1-4). The Apostle Paul tells us that each and every person has sinned and because of that we are separated from God (Rom 3:23). But there is hope for us, see God's love for us has nothing to do with who we are or how we act. At our worst, while we were still living in rebellion towards God, Jesus paid for our sins with His own life (Rom 5:8)! John the Baptist knew this and that is why upon seeing Jesus, he declared, "Behold the Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world" (John 1:29)! Even though the wages of sin is death, the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus (Rom 6:23). Life is only found in Jesus and that life is the light of man, Jesus is the light that has come into the world.

 

"For everyone who does wicked...does not come into the light, lest his works should be exposed."

      While hanging out with some friends several years ago, we got the bright idea to toilet paper someone's house. We decided to sneak out in the middle of the night so that the darkness would keep anyone from seeing what we were doing. Instead of walking down the lighted streets, we went through the woods to get to the house. About halfway through a twenty-four pack of toilet paper, I set off the motion sensor flood lights. As soon as the lights came on and exposed what we were doing, we all dropped everything and ran away. The irony was that while the darkness hid us, it also blinded us and I ended up running full speed into a barbed wire fence.

 

Worship Begins

      So here I am standing next to this girl and I start to realize some things. I knew this girl was gorgeous and had an awesome personality, but I am hearing the way she is worshipping with this underlying passion and... wow. I start to get kinda excited that I am standing next to her, but then I realize something else...this girl is freakin amazing and well, I'm not. In the presence of such a wonderful girl, through no fault of her own, I begin to see the worst things about me. All of the sudden I am not excited to be next to her, I am scared! Scared that she will notice me, scared that she will see me and realize what a dork I am. I start to sweat and become too scared to even sing because of how horrible I think I sound.

 

Then God Steps In

     The pastor interrupts worship and looks out over the crowd. He begins to challenge the congregation to dig deeper in their worship, to dig deeper because it is our worship that ushers in God's very presence. I feel awkward hearing his challenge, but why? Then, I hear her sing and suddenly I am overwhelmed. See my excitement at standing next to such an lovely young lady had turned into me feeling insecure and inadequate being next to her. I realized it was the same thing in worship. To dig deeper means to get closer, to draw nearer to God. I try to do the right thing, and most of the time I feel like I do and I have; but standing in the presence of God, all these wrongs that I have been blind to are suddenly exposed. Because my reaction to them tends to be one of guilt and self condemnation and find that I sometimes resist engaging in worship and thereby resist getting closer to God.

 

Reality Check

      Why do I feel such shame in His presence? I think it is because I know who I use to be, I know the life the Jesus died to save me from. When I mess up, I feel like I am dishonoring that sacrifice. This is what causes me to place unrealistic expectations upon myself. The Apostle Paul, while speaking on how sin entered the world and how the law brings the knowledge of sin, said, "...where sin increased, grace abounded all the more" (Rom 5:20). In other words, my awareness of my sin can not out grow  the grace God has given to me. Does this then mean I can continue to sin? Paul immediately addressed this saying, "Let not sin reign in your mortal body to make you obey its passion" (Rom 6:12). In Christ we strive to be holy, but if we do fall down we get back up! Temptation happens, sin will come! The Word of God says that even though a righteous man falls down seven times, he gets back up (Prov 24:16). Our fault then, is not in our falling, it is in giving sin the power to keep us from getting back up!

 

Conclusion

     Paul tells us that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ (Rom 8:1)! I do not have to beat myself up when I do make a mistake because the old me, the one who would have not cared, is gone and I am a new creation (2 Cor 5:17)! Sure, I still fall! The difference though is now I get back up and I press on, striving to become better as I keep running to finish this race! This was why Christ died, to set us free from guilt and condemnation and insecurities and inadequacies that the law held us under. We are not perfect, but we can know the one who is! The light of His presence may expose the worst in us, but it is in the light of such greatness that we learn how to become better people. To quote Jack Nicholson in as As Good As It Gets, "You make me want to be a better man!"

Is God Really All We Need?

Yes, I realize that this is some what of a semantic argument. Get over it and read it anyways!

     Often, when going through struggles we hear people tells us, "Just trust in God, He is all you need!" Really? I mean seriously?!? My life is falling apart and this crap is what you tell me! I fear that people actually believe this is good advise. I fear it because far to many times I have witnessed people take this advise only to crash and burn. I hate to pop bubbles, but this is simply not a good motto to live your life by!
     Christianity is based on the reality that man cannot do it on his own; man is unable to live a life void of sin. Sin, that which scars all of humanity, has but one consequence and that is death (Romans 6:23 Ephesians 2:1). So God sent his only son Jesus who stepped out of Heaven and became a man to do what we could not, live a blameless life without sin (John 3:16). Jesus shows his love for us by taking upon himself the sins of the world, by becoming the atoning sacrifice for our sins through death, and by freeing us from the bondage of sin through his resurrection (Romans 5:8 2 Corinthians 5:21 Ephesians 2:4-6). So yes, it goes without saying that as a Christian Jesus is all we need for salvation because salvation only comes through him (John 14:6 Romans 10:9).
     But what about life? What about the day to day struggles of this world? What about the unexpected hardships that knock us down? I am sure it does not come as a shock to anyone that life is hard and full of surprises, both good and bad. Jesus himself acknowledged this and said that we can take comfort during these times because He has overcome the world (John 16:33).  In addition to this, the bible tells us that no matter what happens God will never abandon us and so we should be content in our life (Heb 13:5). Now do not misunderstand me, for there to be any hope for us getting through this life we have to trust God, but trusting God means that we trust all of what He says.
     I do not know whether it is pride, insecurity, a desire not to be a burden, shame or countless other things the result in this motto becoming twisted into meaning that we need God and nothing else. When this happens, this motto becomes the justification for us to start shutting out everyone and everything else and keeping our struggles and hardships to ourselves. We turn to fasting and reading our bibles and praying to God for help, yet often we still seem to find ourselves becoming exhausted and worn out all the while wondering why God is ignoring us. We become discouraged because even though we are doing what we think we are suppose to, we still find ourselves sinking! There is merit and power in fasting and scripture and praying to God, but guys God is not all we need! I can hear you all thinking it, "Heresy! Heresy, I say!" Well calm down and give me a chance to explain.
     God did not just give us himself, He gave us each other! WE are the body of Christ: each of us is a different and unique part, but each of us is still dependent upon the other parts in order to succeed (1 Corinthians 12: 12-27). From beginning to end the bible speaks of our need of other believers. Adam who walked with God had a need for companionship and thus God created Eve. The trend continues on throughout the bible from Moses who had Arron and Hur to Joshua who had Caleb or to David with his "Mighty Men" and Jesus with his inner circle of disciples. God speaks to our need for one another in Proverbs telling us that friends sharpen us through love, support, council and sometimes even harsh rebukes . Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 God tells us that friendships not only bless us, but that together we become stronger. Jesus tells us the second greatest command is to love each and that this love should be the very thing that marks us as believers (John 13:34-35). Galatians 6:2 tells us we are to help bear the burdens of life for one another. To make it through this life, we need each other.
     If our only hope is in God through Jesus, how can God not be all that we need? The answer is because God, being the author and perfecter of our lives, has created us with an inherent need for one another. The bible not only reinforces this need, but it instructs us how to meet it in each other. In all his infinite wisdom, God uses this need to allow us to see and feel a tangible glimpse of His unending love for us. This is why the very idea that it is weak to need or accept help spits in the very nature of God. It was never God's plan for us to be in this world alone, to walk in our faith alone, or to go through the difficulties and hardships of this world alone.

God, I think it is time for me to be the pilot.

All of my life, I have heard that stupid saying, "Make God your pilot, not your co-pilot." Sadly I believed it for quite sometime too. A few days ago though, my world was rocked by a surprisingly simple and yet scary revelation. I was listening to a young man preach and he told a parable that I am going to do my best to remember and share with you.

Imagine you are going a trip to some place that you have never been before. You are completely turned around and lost in the middle of nowhere. Then you see an old man running a little roadside stand. You pull over and ask him how to find your destination. The old man proceeds to tell you to continue down the road a ways until you see a big oak tree. Take a left there and go down the road a couple of miles until you see an old stump with a bunch of bushes growing around it and take a left. This man might as well be speaking Swahili because you don’t understand his directions at all. See, he is a local, so to him this all makes sense, but you don't even know the difference between an oak tree and redwood. But now let’s say that the old man gets in the passenger seat and guides you right there. You know that he knows what he is talking about, and he is going to get you to where you need to be. The young pastor then tells the group of students, who are debating over some pretty big life decisions, that they need to let God get into the passenger seat and guide them to where they need to be.

My first thought is of course, "Is he seriously advocating God being their co-pilot?" And then the flood gates opened and I was washed away by what God had been waiting to poor into me. We have a generation that has been told so often to "let God have control" or "let God be your pilot" or even better "just wait for the Lord to move you." Now looking back, I see the consequence of such advice. It all sounds good and right on the surface, after all Jesus told his disciples to follow him, and you can't follow if you are trying to lead...right? But there is a problem that this line of thinking creates. Now there is a generation of people who are so scared to mess up that they have forgotten how to make a decision for themselves.

Nowhere in scripture has God commanded me to be his puppet, in fact it is the exact opposite. God has given me the freedom to make my own choices and sometimes my own mistakes. Because just as Jesus called his disciples, he sent them out in Luke 10. Jesus didn't tell them where to go, he just said go. What I love here is that Jesus tells them that if they enter a house and they don't have peace, leave; Jesus then says if they enter a town and they reject them, leave! We have to have faith that God is in control. We must have faith that if we step out seeking his will, we will find it. God has a will for your life without question and God undoubtedly wants you to reach your full potential, but that is just it...He wants you to do it. The moment I questioned what this pastor was preaching, God began to speak. "Do you really think I created you just so I could live your life for you? Do you think I watched my son be scorned and beaten and crucified just so I could make you my puppet? I don't desire to live for you, I desire for you to live for me!"

I can wait all day long for God to move me, but God has already spoken over my life through His Holy Word and in my very spirit. I am not perfect and of course I make mistakes, but my heart beats for my God alone and because of that he makes known my every mistake. God will not keep silent and watch his children fail! All throughout scripture we see God disciplining His children, and we are told to not despise the Lord's discipline because he loves us (Proverbs 3:11). Guys, God will let you know when you are taking a bad step; you will feel it in your spirit and see the effects of it in your life. There are just two questions to ask yourself: Do you know His voice well enough to hear Him and Do you walk in His presence enough to know when you are out of his will?

With all that said, there have been times when God has told me to wait upon Him. But there is a difference in waiting and walking. Has God asked you to wait or are you simply scared of taking the next step? There are so many decisions that I wish God would make for me, but sometimes he wants me to make them because in them I can see where I am or where I am not.