"Wealth gained hastily will dwindle, but whoever gathers little by little will increase it."
Proverbs 13:11
This is such an odd verse to start
out with considering what I am about to talk about; never the less, this
is where I must begin. I was reading my devotion this morning on the subject
of hope which took me to Proverbs 13 where verse 11 happen to catch my eye. The breakdown of this verse is very
simple, that which is easily obtained is most often easily let go of, while
that which we are forced to work hard for we tend to treat more responsibly. As
a child I wanted everything I saw and would get mad when I could not have it.
Money meant nothing to a five year old boy with no job. Turning sixteen however and
wanting a car required me to go and find a job. After working my tail off for minimum
wage and gaining a deeper comprehension of a hard day’s work, what I bought
required a much bigger thought process than, "I want that!"
Now I am standing in a different
situation, but the principle behind this proverb seems to be able to be applied here also. If you do not know me, I have spent the last 3 years
fighting cancer. I am currently in remission, but I have to deal with the
aftermath of having had a bone marrow transplant. This has caused a lot of my
plans and dreams to change or shatter all together as I have spoken of in
previous post. It can be very difficult at times to know how great of a God I
serve, a God I know is all powerful and with no effort could restore my body.
The question of "why am I still going through this?" consistently
crosses my mind. Often times it teems with bitterness and resentment! I mean
seriously, what the crap God! But then I look at the flip side of having had to
walk this journey out little by little, step by step. I see the good that has
come from being forced to remain in this circumstance. Sure I want and would love to
be able to wake up tomorrow with all this behind me, but I am (though with
great struggle) also joyful to be able to wake up tomorrow and take one more
step on this path as little by little my victory is slowing drawing near. A
victory that being forced so hard to fight for, I cannot imagine I would ever
so easily let go of.
When you are in the midst of your own struggle, to
read this seems stupid and dumb. It makes you want to say, "That’s great
for you, but you don't know me and what I'm going through." You are right
I do not! But here is what I do know. I know what it is like to walk in to my
room and sit on my bed and cry until there is nothing left. I know what it
feels like to look at tomorrow with no hope of anything better waiting there for me. I know what it is like to want to quit and give up. I know what it is
like to sink so desperately low that everything just feels numb and dead
inside. I know what it is like to hurt so deeply physically and emotionally
that death looks like relief and salvation. I know what it is like to hear
someone say "God has a plan for all this" and just want to scream, yell and hit them in the face. I know the anger and the bitterness that
has filled my heart as other people's dreams come to life and prosper around
me. We are not all walking through the same things, but many of us are feeling
the same consequences of the struggle we are in.
I battle these feelings to this day,
more than I care to admit, but I press on one step at a time. I do not know how
long I will struggle down this road and if it ends in healing or in death. I
can worry about whether I will ever make it through all this until I end up making myself sick (and
many times I have done just that) but this serves no good purpose! Whether I
must walk ten more feet or a thousand more miles, I must first take this next
step. That is what is so amazing about having faith in God. Faith does not
require me to gather up the strength to finish this journey; faith only requires
that I find that little bit of strength to take one step, just one single step.
Psalms 37:23 says the steps of a righteous man are ordered by God. Each step
you take in overcoming your current circumstance is a step God is ordering, a
step God is blessing, a step God is using to get you closer. Isaiah 43:2 shows
that God is not always going to teleport us to the other side of the journey;
but that if we trust Him, He will protect us as we walk through
our struggles. Even though each step we take is hard, nothing changes the
simple fact that the second step down this road can never be reached until the
first one is taken.
It is a crazy way of thinking,
focusing on just one step or one moment at a time when circumstances can be so
huge. I am by no means an artsy person, but I can appreciate the talent and
skill of being able to take a piece of stone or a few colors and create such
beautiful masterpieces that are showcased all over the world. Works of art that
are so inspiring and beautiful that people travel thousands of miles and pay
money and wait in lines just to be able to look at Michelangelo's David or Di Vinci's Mona Lisa or Van Gogh's Starry Night or Alexandros' Venus de Milo. Despite the intricate and delicate
process in creating these masterpieces, they all started the same way:
just a single brush stroke or chisel and then another and another. Stroke after
stroke, chisel after chisel, beauty began to emerge until finally the artist
stepped back and saw that the work was complete. Little by little wealth is
built, little by little beauty is created, and little by little life changes
and struggles do end!
I told you earlier I got so mad at
someone when they would tell me, "God has a plan for all this." Well
now let me give you that same opportunity to hate me and want to hit me
in the face. I have seen the good has been brought out in other people as I have
walked this struggle out. The only reason I can stand here now is because of the people
that surrounded me, prayed over me, encouraged me and reminded me I still have
purpose and meaning despite everything cancer has taken. How insane that
without even trying to do anything other than survive, I was helping to
strengthen and grow the very people who are helping encourage and strengthen
me. I was in no way trying to do anything for them. I looked at my life in
those dark moments as being insignificant and pointless; and yet all the while,
God was using what I thought to be a mundane meaningless life to help encourage people to hang
on and take one more step through their own struggles.
See, it is not that we win the war, it
is that we fight the battle! It does not even matter at the end of the day if I
have stumbled again as long as I get back up! That is what changes the world,
that is what pulls others up out of darkness. Do not fool yourself into
believing people do not see or know your struggle, hurting people recognize
hurting people. And when they see you hurt and fall, it shows them they are not
alone in the struggle! And when they see you get up despite the pain and take one more
step, it shows them that it is not impossible! And when they see you get back up
again and again and again, it reminds them that what they are fighting to
overcome is worth it! And when you look up and reach back out to God, it shows
them they have not fallen beyond the reach of grace and redemption. Your
struggle not only grows your faith but it gives hope to others to go on! You
are not alone! Jesus himself asked God for another way before being arrested
and beaten and crucified. The road ahead of him in the garden was going to be
long and painful, but Jesus knew that with each step His Father was creating
something so beautiful that 2000 years later, it is still changing the world!
Remember, just because we aren't all
dealing with the same problems, we still share a lot of the same feelings they
create. I do not need financial advice from someone who has won the lottery; I
need it from someone who has built a life upon principals and experience. It is
the same thing with dealing with my heartbreak and sorrow. When someone can see
you have went or are going through all the hurt and trails and tribulations
they are going through, your testimony carries so much more depth and power.
Socrates advised mankind to "Employ your time in improving yourself by
other men's writing so that you shall come easily by what others have labored
hard for." Life is happening all around us; sometimes it is good and
beautiful and sometimes it sucks with every breath we take! But life is also moving forward little by little, step by step in your life and the lives of people all around you. So today begin to change your outlook. Do not become overwhelmed by how far you may think this road is, but seek and trust God to give you that little bit of strength so that you may once again take just one more step. Little by little this battle will end and a lasting victory will be obtained!
